Chronicles Of The Battles Of My Mind—To Keep Me Alive!

There is a power that resides inside the walls of a hopeful heart that is impenetrable to the world. Nothing of the unexplained vastness of uncertainty that this realm can share has a way of corrupting it. This heart makes the earth spin with every beat…with every illusion. The blue that paints the sky focuses on it, and the clouds that seemingly share their individual route nod to such an evident power.

There are imaginary rivers that flow with new memories. New flowers grow from the soil screaming their singularity with colors never seen by human eyes, and which birds have never laid to rest upon. There are emotional rocks that yield to its force, and instead of becoming obstacles, they rather become beacons on the ground; showing the way.

This hopeful heart finds it hard to sleep. Day after day, and night after night he wrestles with ideas, thoughts and illusions that form sentences. He tries to constantly define the variables of reality versus the accuracy of an imagination that like him, refuses to rest. Black hairs begin to slowly turn white, and the facial marks that once traced a smile are now deep tracks of an unclear future; of a desperate search for air to breathe.

The wind blows and dries a tear, and the temperature drops to freeze it in time. This hopeful heart stands on his feet and ignoring the pain of his legs, presents an alerted posture that straightens his thoughts and that heightens his will. The beatings have now become a bit irregular as age begins to collect what belongs to her, and the restless hopeful heart with visions of an elementary school uniform that brought him so many good times yesterday, is now trying to fly with homemade wings that guaranty nothing today.

Still he smiles, still he makes others smile, and the invisible treacherous path to the unknown continues to get longer, and longer. He breathes as if to live, and sits randomly to regain power…to recover some lost energy along the way. There have been many sunrises, yet the all sunsets have become the same. But hope still lingers, faith still remains.

There is a power that resides inside the walls of a hopeful heart that is impenetrable to the world. And tonight this protection serves useful one more time. Another day has now become the night, and the hour suggests another break. He slowly grabs his small quilt, and moves to his favorite cold corner of his large and empty bed. He smiles alone, and prays alone. Hope lives, faith still remains. I suppose many have a lot, but not many have it all. This lonely hopeful heart clearly knows the difference.

His eyes slowly close, and his breathing begins to slow his pace. As the minutes turn to hours, and the darkness turns once again into light, there is only one thing he is happy with: things can always change. Tomorrow is another day…let’s make the best of it. Let him continue to beat.

…let him continue to dream, and let him continue to keep me alive!


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